At a recent press conference President Trump announced that he now has his own cure for the coronavirus and he is making it available to the world free of charge. You may order it direct from him at the White House. When you order it you will receive a vial of his perspiration which you rub a small amount on any part of your body and you are all set. If you already have the virus you will be instantly cured and if you don’t have it you will be made instantly immune.
So far there has been only two side effects. The first one has been that after you use it you will have trouble telling the truth and the second is that your intelligence level will skyrocket. Health experts will be asking for your advice on how to treat every disease known to man.
He also said we are turning the corner on the virus but then he admitted that once we get around the corner we may not be able to go anywhere because the roads will most likely be blogged with ambulances taking sick people to the hospital.
On the subject of the recent election he said he now has irrefutable proof of illegal shenanigans that occurred. He gave an example of an elderly Native American lady in Moose Butt, Alaska (Pop. 5) who lived directly across the street from her polling place. Instead of walking to the corner to cross she just walked across in the middle of the block and cast her vote for Biden. Mr. Trump claims that since she jaywalked her ballot should be disqualified. I’m sure he has more examples just as atrocious as this one. Al Gore is no doubt saying, “I know just how you feel Mr. Trump.”
Stay safe and keep praying for our great country.