Research shows that in middle school, girls’ confidence levels drop substantially and often don’t recover.

A program called Ruling Our Experiences (ROX) is trying to change that.

Steelville Middle School is only the third school in Missouri to adopt the program, along with St. James and Cape Girardeau. Through weekly, one-hour sessions, a small group of sixth- and seventh-grade girls at the school are learning about communication skills, conflict resolution, peer pressure, leadership and more.

Steelville’s ROX group is led by Middle School Counselor Sarah Baker, who first heard about the program’s success in St. James and felt it would benefit her students. After receiving extensive training at the ROX headquarters in Ohio, she became a certified facilitator.

Students take part in a total of 20 sessions, designed to build confidence by empowering them to stand up for themselves, believe in their goals, cope with stress and create healthy habits.

Now in its 18th week, Baker has been able to watch her seven students grow considerably through ROX. What was at first a reserved group has turned into a talkative, confident team of girls who know how to use their voices.

“We’re almost done, and they’re already asking to just do it again next year,” she said.

One of the students’ favorite sessions so far, Baker said, has been a hands-on lesson about self defense, which teaches them how to be aware and assertive if they need to protect themselves in an emergency. The lesson taught defense moves, but it also focused on encouraging girls not to be afraid to use their voice if they’re in danger.

“They were lined up parallel to each other, and someone would walk towards them, and they’d have to yell ‘Stop!’ or ‘No!’” Baker explained. “And then we would use our assertive body language, and that surprised them. They said, ‘Oh my gosh, this is hard for me to yell.’”

The goal of the lesson was to teach students how to protect themselves in a safe environment so that they know how to use those skills if they’re ever at risk.

Earlier this month, the group completed their career development session, where they took a field trip to Jefferson City to hear from a woman working in a male dominated industry. 

That woman was Catherine Hanaway, Missouri’s first female attorney general.

Hanaway spoke to the girls about what it means to pursue a career path that may feel like it isn’t made for you. But she also shared her own personal experiences.

“She just started talking about her childhood, growing up, and how she was bullied,” Baker said. “And I could see some of the girls, really that hit them because of what they’ve gone through.”

They also had the chance to tour the Supreme Court and state Capitol building, where they ran into State Representative John Hewkin, who offered them more words of encouragement.

After the meeting, Baker said the bus ride back to Steelville was full of chatter about how much the girls loved Hanaway’s talk. One student even told Baker that seeing someone in a position of power overcome bullying made her feel like she can pursue her dreams, too.

“If they don’t remember anything (from ROX), I know they’ll remember that meeting of being very inspired to not give up on their dreams, and even when it’s difficult, to just keep going,” Baker said.

Looking into the future, Baker hopes that ROX will expand into the elementary and high school buildings too. She’d also like to see a similar program offered to boys, tailored to the challenges they face during adolescence, like ROX does for girls.

“My long term goal would just be a ripple effect of healthier relationships, healthier self image, healthier communication, healthier with their academics, career paths,” she said. “And if we could get it into all three buildings, that would just be more and more people to empower.”